jdarling:

A few days ago I talked to a very good friend of mine. She apparently hasn’t been herself, her sister told me that she attempted suicide, but her mother stopped her in time. It took her a while to finally open up, but word after word, she was getting comfortable and told me her story; Five years ago, my friend fell in love with her boyfriend after a few days of just meeting each other. One year passes, two, three.. He’s 22 and she’s 19. As vague as I am, I cannot tell you her story as if I were reading a book.. Even the words in my mind, breaks my heart every time. Last week, he ended the relationship.

And this is how our conversation went:

Me: Can you please explain to me what is going on? Asking her on a date, taking her to her favorite spot, telling her that she shouldn’t love you anymore, and walking away? Please tell me, it’s for a very good reason because I don’t understand how you can let five years slip. You even asked her to marry you. Daniel what’s going on? Talk to me, is everything alright?

Daniel: Jemma, I love her so much. Since five years ago I did everything I can to make EVERYTHING perfect. I asked you for permission. Asked her parents. Her sister. I took her to her favorite spot. Asked her if it was alright that I fell in love with her. Asked her if it was okay that from that day on forward, she could be by my side because there was no other place on earth that I felt most wanted but right by her side. She didn’t need to touch me. She didn’t even need to look at me, but something in me felt a love stronger than my love for God. Impossible? I know, but every love story, every love song, it was in me. Four years ago, she was my best friend, my other half. The only person I confided in. Three years ago, God knew what my intentions were, and even if time does not tell you how to feel, admit it, you know how that goes.. But I wanted her forever. I asked her to marry me, she said no because she wasn’t ready, but I wanted to wait. Two years ago, she told me she was ready, and again I proposed to her. She said yes. Jem, that day she was so beautiful.. That moment was priceless. One year ago, we got into a fight. She accused me of cheating, but I would never do that to her. There is no one that I want, more than her. Eleven months ago, she lost trust in me. Ten months ago, her phone calls disappeared. Nine months ago, I was getting attached to her voice mail. Eight months ago, I showed up at her apartment door step just to find out she left to New York with her Dad. Seven months ago, I sent her multiple emails, text messages, letters, but nothing in returned. Six months ago, she returned.. But she returned with a different heart. It wasn’t my heart.. Five months ago, I showed up at her work every day with a bouquet of roses, though realizing they soon end up in the trash. Four months ago, her family tells me to move on. Three months ago, my family tells me to move on. Two months ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. Every night since then, I fall asleep at her door step, morning and night, through rain, waiting. One month ago, I’m sitting in the hospital with the people that I love, which is my mom, my grandma, my sister and my brother. Four people that I need. Until the day I die. Before treatment, I received a text, “I’m sorry.” You see Jem, five years I was always in love with her. The past year, it was harsh, but I was still in love with her. It was obvious that she wasn’t in love with me. My heart has always belonged with her, even if it was physically damaged. It still belonged with her. I never did her harm. I loved her unconditionally and FAITHFULLY. Her two words, mean NOTHING to me. Little did I know, I needed her, but she was no where to be found. I did all that I can for her, but she didn’t see that. So what was I supposed to do? I called her the next day, told her to meet up at her favorite park. I told her that she shouldn’t love me anymore, even though in the back of my mind.. She didn’t. But I wanted her to hurt. To feel the pain that I did, because you see Jem, I knew that she didn’t love me anymore, but she didn’t know that I knew. She only said those two words to me because she found out that I had cancer. So what if I didn’t? Would she ever be in my arms again? No. Clearly. I had to let her go, FOR MYSELF. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life regretting, hurting, mending.. No, I will never do that to my family. She doesn’t deserve me to accept her apology. But my family deserves to see me happy. And even if I wish to carry our love to my grave..

I will carry my family’s love first.